I and English

First, I’d rather not have English in the course of the carrier; it is really difficult to me.

I understand it is necessary although that need bother me, because it only aggravates a reality were some peoples colonize other trough the language and cultural, I also understand that people allow it.

I did every blogs writing in my copybook and then looking in the dictionary word by word, still feel I didn’t learned anything. I can not retain the words even if I write then by hand and then on the computer word by word.

Letting aside my annoyance about the colonization through the language, I understand that English is necessary as it is a reality, like it or no, it is a universal language.

I hope to at some point take classes but with a different method and spend much more time al least two to three hours daily; I have to go step by step and for scratch.

When did I used English?

Only for classes to make the videos and edit the blogs with my roommate and only to realize that I use many time the some word, yet I do not memorized. The way of writing cause me conflict with the Spanish, because more than even I turn the words in spañish by the way it is written in English.

Maybe if had spent more time on the classes but I really would not think very different.

I performed online exercises, used the platform  and I fin it hard, it take me a lot of time to do en exercise, because I search the word in the dictionary

This semester has been even more complex, because outside the University the Egress Work and my job I got less time.

I know all this are only excuses, or so it seers but is my reality. I assume how much it cost me even when may pride bother me.

The good and the bad of this year.

Something inside me don’t want to write this, i don’t lie to think too much in the past, because there is nothing to do with it, i prefer to think in the present or even better, in the future. But i have to do this homework.

This has been a very interesting year in many aspects, i got tested multiple times in my personal life and i discover things about me that i let go, but, i always love and sometimes it looks like it was trying to found me. These last words are about the exploration and study of the spiritual and energetic world, the metaphysic connection of the life and the way the world interact with itself.

I’m not very fetishist or fan of the avatars but I got a place for my “altar” again, now my concept of altar is not a worship space, is a space that reminds me there is something beyond of we can perceive, and is very important to remember it, because many times our life and it’s “reality” the system we are submersed make us forget it, even when the life try to reminds us about it in many ways.

In other hand I been analyzing myself and working the things I don’t like about me, is difficult, even when I’m very self-critical, too much in many occasions, bee self-critical and don’t change anything is waste of time.

I try to apply this to my professional and student life, and sometimes I can’t do it, but I will keep trying.

This year is almost over and this has been a very tough year and I can’t give up even when sometimes I feel overwhelm. The academic part of this year is almost over, and when that is finished, I will be able to do what I like.